Ernest Hemingway:

As Ernest Hemingway once said...
'All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.'

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Laziest Dog in the World

My dog is so lazy. I mean, she does nothing but sleep, eat, occasionally play with a 'baby' (one of her stuffed animals), and beg for pets. It's unbelievable. I've never seen a creature that can look so darn comfortable all the time. She'd sleep on a bed of nails and make it look comfortable. And she'll take pets whenever she can get them. She'll nudge the hell out of your hand if she can get to it until you pet her. Or she'll nudge your leg, or your arm, whatever she can reach.

Then again, she's a greyhound, and spent the first half of her life in a crate, occasionally running around a track and eating grade-F meat (or whatever the worst grade is). Who wouldn't crave a lazy day after that?

She's the most laid back dog. She doesn't bark, she doesn't beg for food, she doesn't run around and drive me crazy. As long as there is someone to pet her daily, a couch to sleep on, and someone to feed her every once in a while, she's happy. I am convinced that it does not matter one bit who that person is. My dog has no owner loyalty at all. But she's also lived with three other owners after being rescued from the track. For some reason, they couldn't live with her (well, she did kill a chihuaha in the first house, but she was left alone with it the very first day at their house right after she came from the track. Who can blame her? All that yapping). But I can't imagine it. She's a perfect angel. She's tiger-striped, and she also sings. It's more of a howl, but we call it singing.

Well, she does have a few flaws. She has a broken rib that never healed right, so it sticks out of her side (probably from being kicked). She also has scars on her nose and on her other side, as well as very sparse hair on her butt by her tail from crate rub. She used to cry whenever we touched her ears (which have tattoos in them to mark her racing numbers), because that's one way to discipline them on the track - flick their ears - but now she trusts us. She also split her tongue and it never healed right, so it's got a permanent split on one end. Kind of like the people who pay to have their tongues split, only she can't move each side independently from the rest. That must be a people thing.

Her medical records are sketchy, but hey, we know her exact birth date, who her parents were, and who her grandparents were. It's amazing how they can keep such detailed records on these dogs, yet treat them like such crap. She also can't sit, which might explain all the laying down she does. She's too lanky to sit unless it's on a hill or on a couch. It's really funny to watch her try though! But she's one of the lucky ones that wasn't killed as a pup because she couldn't race or killed after her racing career was over. There are actually people who make a living destroying greyhounds.

In Kansas, they aren't recognized as a breed. article They're not bred to be pets, so therefore, they aren't pets. Interesting, since they make incredible pets.

I can't imagine a better dog. She's so darn easy. Anyone looking for a great, laid-back dog should go for a greyhound. Plus, you're saving them from an almost certain death. And usually not a pretty death either.

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