Ernest Hemingway:

As Ernest Hemingway once said...
'All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.'

Monday, October 31, 2005

seasonal affective disorder (or whatever)

I think I must have a version of this, except I'm only pissy when it rains. Is it the lack of sunshine? I think so. Darkness makes me sleepy, and when I'm sleepy at work, it's not a good combo.

First the day started off with an emergency staff meeting. We got reamed for being late, talking too much on cell phones, and socializing too much. It brought back memories of my last hellish job, except that here the president only gives us shit when it's getting out of control, not if we're 1 minute late clocking in. We don't even clock in here. Since I'm rarely late, don't talk on my cell, and try to not socialize with people (this isn't hard at all), I just had to sit there and take it. The difference between this and getting yelled at at the old job is that this is just motivation to make sure to do things right. This place actually makes you want to do that as opposed to making you want to do the exact opposite.

Then, since today's Halloween, people have been parading their kids around all day long. It's cute and all, but when I'm in a bad mood, the last thing I want to do is ooh and aah over someone's kid. Does this drive anyone else crazy? If I have kids, I'm making the vow now to never take them to my work or Q's work. You can hold me to it. Maybe I'm just jealous that these people have nothing better to do all day than bring their kid to their spouses place of employment. Must be nice.

Now I have to go and deal with traffic. Why can't people drive when it rains? It's maddening. Traffic is always backed up, and for no apparent reason. That's the worst thing about it - if there was an accident, fine, I get that. Why the hell does it back up for no reason???

Maybe I should go to bed early to escape this hellish day. I can start fresh tomorrow.

Friday, October 28, 2005

girly man

So, apparently there's a male golfer who wants to play in the British Women's Open. He's upset that women are allowed to qualify for men's tournaments, and is making a stand. He claims that if women can play in men's tournaments, then why have separate tournaments at all? What a moron.

He missed the point completely. It's a fine thought, in theory. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way. It's simple. Women have a valid argument to play in the men's tournament. They want the chance for more money, as the prizes are usually much bigger. Why would a man want to play in the women's tournament, with less money at stake?

I guess, though, he can't play well enough to play with the men, so why not try to get some money, at least, even if it's less. Methinks this won't really be a problem because not many men will want to admit they're not good enough to play against other men. This guy can try to cover it up by fighting for 'equality', but we're not fooled.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Exxon Mobil's profits up $10B

What is up with that? How, if they have to raise prices dramatically to cover costs because of the hurricanes, do their profits increase by $10 billion over the past three months? Interesting...

If a boycott ever were in order, it's now. Unfortunately, I'll probably have to fill up my car on the way home. Definitely not at Mobil, though.

insane rant (beware)

So, after the world series last night, the MVP was given a car. What? A guy who makes millions of dollars gets a new car? Please. He probably has several. He probably doesn't give one shit about that car.

Q wondered why they did that last night. Car companies do this all the time at sporting events. I remember being grossed out for the same reason at the superbowl. They do it for publicity, of course. I'm not saying it's right, but how do you get around it? Q thought they should donate a car to a worthy family. Yes, that's a great idea, but unfortunately, this country doesn't give a shit about that, and it's all about publicity. Especially for the hurting American car companies. I guess there are people out there who see a car company giving a new car to a sports hero, and they are impressed by this. Scary, but probably true.

I mean really, the amount of money these guys make is sickening. And I'm a huge baseball fan. I'd like it a whole hell of a lot more though, if they made less money. They could charge less to go to the damn game, less for concessions - it's all gotten very out of control. Isn't baseball supposed to be 'America's sport'? Not when average Americans can't even afford to go.

I remember hearing a radio show talking about how much the 'lesser' players make. I think the minimum is like $250,000, or something like that. How much it sucks to make that when there are others on your team making millions. Someone was whining about it. Please! Yes, making $250,000 definitely sucks. I can't imagine a life like that. How could you even live?

Anyway, it's disgusting. All the corporate nonsense. Stadiums like Minute Maid Park (previously Enron Stadium - ha), US Cellular Field, Comerica Park - it's freakish. How does anyone get excited about going to Minute Maid Park? Yes, St. Louis is a corporate whore too, but at least there's some history behind Busch.

I guess like everything else in this country, sports have become all about money. And we still feed into it, myself included. When did we become so complacent? People used to boycott. And it worked. I haven't tried lately, but I'm pretty sure we could never do that again. Is it laziness? I don't know. I'm all for a boycott, but I know it would go nowhere. Maybe I'm lazy for not trying. I just wonder why everyone is so willing to take it all the time.

We could boycott sports, cable, gas companies, hell, anyone! But again, I think it all comes down to money. People need money, which requires work, which most of the time requires gas for your car (since publice transportation is basically nonexistant here). It's an evil cycle. We have to have the best clothes, the best car, the best house. Boycotting seems silly when you've got to pay for your big new hummer! Everyone seems financially stable as credit card debt rises through the roof. One day, probably soon, there is going to be a whole generation drowning under credit card debt, then what will happen? Maybe it will take a collapse in the system to put things in check. Otherwise it's going to just spiral out of control. The country is probably going to self destruct anyway, or get nuked.

So apparently I've got some pent up anger. But now I'm better.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

getting knocked up

My friend in Florida had a baby girl! The picture is kind of funky, but you can tell she's adorable. She was a month early. Which is weird, because babies are popping out left and right at my place of employment, and most have had to be induced because they're late. Well, not exactly at my place of employment. That would be very gross and unsanitary, being that they don't dust or vacuum here.

What is with that by the way? They didn't dust or vacuum at my old job either.

Having a baby is a scary thought. I'm guessing this is one of those things you can't overthink, you just have to do it. Or get knocked up.

Monday, October 24, 2005

imagine this...

I'm driving along highway 70 on my way to class at UMSL (a fiction writing class). I hear Daryl Palumbo sing 'I want to f**k you in your god's hands when your praying bites the dust'. I darn near almost crashed my car. What a line! I had to rewind the CD to make sure I heard it right, THEN had to get out the little book and read it. Yep, I heard right. That's one of the greatest lines I've ever heard, and I tend to like music with good lyrics, so that's saying a lot.

It's from the Head Automatica album, Decadence, that Q picked up a couple of weeks ago. He's been wanting it for a while, but just found it used. It's Daryl Palumbo from Glassjaw and Dan the Automator from the Gorillaz. It's really not much like either Glassjaw or the Gorillaz, though. It's totally funky and upbeat, with great music and lyrics. I highly recommend it. It's catchy as hell. I'm really impressed - it's totally not what I expected at all, especially since the last Glassjaw album sucked.

I don't even want to think about what it might mean. It's just so great, I don't want to ruin it. And believe me, the rest of the song is no slouch either. How exactly did he come up with that? It blows my mind. It's these moments that make me doubt I have any talent at all. Phew.

Friday, October 21, 2005

more prison time, please

Have you ever met someone who tries WAY too hard to be funny? So hard, in fact, that they aren't funny at all? This is the person who obviously sits at home and thinks about funny things to say. There's no way at all that what they say just rolls off their tongue. It's too perfect, too rehearsed.

This person drives me crazy. Thankfully she's not a friend. I couldn't be friends with her. I'm too nice to tell anyone that they're not funny, so I'd have to fake-laugh all the time, and that would get old quick. Way too much work. She also tries too hard to reference people/places/etc. so that she seems to be a whole lot smarter and 'cool' than she really is. And she's one of those people that no matter what happens in your life, it or something worse has happened to her. She barely lets you get your story out before she's swung full force into hers. That is so awful.

I can put up with little character flaws, no problem. Most of them are cute and endearing. In fact, I've got quite a few myself, I'm sure (I try not to think about that). But when your flaw takes over any other personality you might have, that's just too much for me. I can't handle it. I can't even pretend to handle it.

On a side note, this guy is a real winner. Anyone who willingly asks for more jail time is beyond the realm of help. He'll get torn apart in prison. I'd be surprised if he survives the full 33 years.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

stay to the right

So, I'll eat my previous words about the Astros. But at least they didn't win in Houston. At least we have that.

I'm actually a little glad that baseball is over because now I can go back to watching my regular TV shows instead of taping them. Yes, I still tape things - no DVD-R yet.

I had a new experience yesterday. I was riding my bike on the newly built bike trail by my house when I was almost plowed over by a woman, riding a bike, and talking on a cell phone. Is this a joke? Unfortunately not. I could not believe it. She was riding with someone else, and they were spread out all over the trail. He had to yell at her to get out of the way. No way was I going to stop and let her pass. I would have plowed right into her just to teach her a lesson. For fuck's sake, pay attention! It was a gorgeous day, and the trail was semi-crowded. You can't tell me you are so important that you have to take a call during your bike ride. And if you are, at least stop riding the bike! I had headphones on, but still said, 'Are you kidding me?' I'm sure they heard, as I tend to talk loudly when listening to headphones. Unfortunately I didn't hear their reaction. Morons.

As I've been riding my bike more and more, I find that people have a serious problem figuring out which side of the trail they should be on. Same thing with the grocery store. How hard is it? I always thought the general rule of thumb was to stick to the right, like when driving. Am I wrong? It drives me crazy when some dumb lady in the store has her cart blocking the entire aisle while she looks at Hamburger Helper. How self absorbed is that? As though she is the only person in the entire store. People need to take a moment to notice the outside world. We all have to exist together - at least try to be cognizant of this. Or next time I'm going to crash my cart or bike right into someone.

On a brighter note, Blood Ray got a job, thanks to Craigslist. If you haven't checked it out yet, you should - it's a great site for all sorts of local classifieds.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

if only 'Titanic' the movie could sink, too

Last night Q and I finished watching The Believer. It's based on the true story of a KKK member in the 1960s who was revealed to be Jewish by a New York Times reporter. Ryan Gosling was really good, and despite a few plot flaws, it was definitely worth seeing.

Somehow the fact that it was based on a true story allowed me to get past the flaws. I just can't conceive of how a Jewish person could hate his own people so much. The movie tried a little bit to explain it, but I'm still baffled. It's so sad.

Anyway, the movie, of course, reminded me of American History X, one of the most powerful films ever made in my opinion. Edward Norton was amazing, as was the rest of the cast. This is one of those movies that just hammers you over the head and sticks with you for a long time. Unfortunately, it got almost no recognition, though I think it should have been a contender at the Oscars. Guess what won that year? Titanic. Wow. Truly unfortunate.

On a side note, Pujols smacked a huge homer last night to win us the game. So I don't have to eat my words yet!

Monday, October 17, 2005

having babies in prison

This is just too much. Why can't an inmate get an abortion? It's ridiculous.

We'd rather spend money to let her have it? There are going to be major costs for the birth. Then, once the child is born, what will happen? Even if there is someone to care for the child, her mother is in prison for however long, and her father is probably long gone. So most likely the child will be handed over to state custody, costing us tax dollars.

Instead of shelling out a little bit of money to provide transportation to a clinic (not even the cost of the abortion - the inmate will pay for that!), we're going to force her to have it. That child is surely destined for greatness. Its mother, in prison, doesn't even want it. Wow, that's definitely a great decision by the Supreme Court. Makes perfect sense.

Friday, October 14, 2005

smug bastards

Yeah, you go ahead and celebrate now, ASStros. Have your fun. You'll be crying to your mommas after we win the series.

Does anyone else despise this team as much as I do? I don't even know why. I just don't like 'em. Their players bother me, the smug bastards.

On a side note, well wishes to Reggie! That was quite a fall, but I know it won't get you down.


Thursday, October 13, 2005

defecting to Illinois

Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I44 bridge guy

I used to have to take I44 to get to and from work every day. At least once a week I'd see the same guy on one of the bridges over the highway, near Webster Groves or Kirkwood. He'd just stand there and wave. I know other people have seen him.

If you've ever seen him and wondered, 'Hey, who is that guy? What's his deal?', wonder no more! Channel 5 did a story on him last night. Read the article.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

crazy old lady

I know this is old news and all, but I just can't get over the pure stupidity. Are rich people really that clueless? I guess so.

It's a horrible catch 22. People who aren't rich can't run big campaigns, and most Americans won't look past the candidates they see on TV every day. So, if a really great candidate came along, someone who understood the plight of the lower or middle class American, there's no way he would win. The people who might vote for him probably would never know his name.

I say 'his' because I firmly believe that there is no way Joe Bob Construction Worker would ever vote for a woman, no matter what she has to say. I have heard with my own ears such sentiments as 'Women are just too emotional to be president' and 'Women aren't smart enough to be president'. Mind you, they were coming from a dumb-as-dirt redneck who had about as much brains in his head as are in my pinkie. But unfortunately, these people are everywhere, and they vote.

So, in summary, because most Americans are too lazy to look past what runs across their TV every night, we will forever be stuck with elite rich presidents who will never be able to relate to the problems that 90% of us (at least) face each and every day.

Friday, October 07, 2005

fun with phobias

I don't have any phobias (some irrational fears, yes, but nothing severe, anyway). I do think they are funny, though. There's a great site that lists tons of them. Below are some of the highlights.

Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc - Well, they are a little scary.

Apotemnophobia- Fear of persons with amputations - Fear of the person? I can see if they have a hook or something like that, maybe, but come on.

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth - This person obviously never gave peanut butter to their dog. it's hilarious.

Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor - Who isn't? There was a guy at Schnucks the other day with the worst smell I've ever encountered. You could smell him from across the store. It was god awful.

Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness - This is what happens to you one morning after too many drunken, beer goggle nights.

Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting - What the hell do these people do all day without sitting? Does it freak them out when other people sit too, or just themselves?

Coprophobia- Fear of feces - Oh now, feces is fun.

Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of going to school - Some bratty high schooler made this one up.

Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers - Some of them scare me, too.

Geniophobia- Fear of chins - Like Jay Leno? What did a chin ever do to anyone?

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words - Is that a joke?

Liticaphobia- Fear of lawsuits - If they're brought by Brown & Crouppen, then yes.

Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope - 'Nuff said.

Plutophobia- Fear of wealth - I must have this. It would explain why I'm poor.

Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple - Oprah did look pretty scary.

Rhabdophobia- Fear of being severely punished or beaten by a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic.(wand) - Kind of an odd combo, no?

Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons - WTF is a Walloon?

Thank God for the internet. What would I do all day without it?

Thursday, October 06, 2005

'Gator-guzzling python comes to messy end'

Holy crap x 3:

1. There's a 13 foot python in Florida.

2. It ate a 6 foot alligator.

3. The alligator clawed at the snake's stomach until it burst.

Read all the gory details here.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I may be a geeky cult nerd

This weekend Q and I went to see Serenity. We usually don't go to the theater at night (too expensive) unless it's the 'dollar' theater, but we decided to spring for it because we liked the TV show. For those of you who don't know, the movie is the culmination of the Fox show, Firefly, that was cancelled before the season ended. Same actors, same everything, just a different name. Great movie - I highly recommend it, even if you aren't familiar with the show.

The best part of the night, other than the movie, was that we got in for student prices without even asking. I haven't been a student for six years. It totally made my night. I know I look young, so that part didn't matter, but saving four dollars was sweet!

The worst part of the night was the realization that this movie/TV show has a big cult following. Not a cool cult following, like perhaps David Lynch films, but a very nerdy one, aka Star Trek. We sat in front of three people who talked before and after the film (Q likes to see the credits) about nothing that I understood whatsoever. It very well could have been quantum physics. And the one guy had a lisp unlike any I had ever heard before. It was surreal, like existing inside of a stereotype. But mostly it was frightening - could I be one of those geeks????

Surely not. I just like the TV show because of the humor and the story line. It's unique. I certainly didn't debate with Q about whether part of the movie was realistic because, if the planet is shaped like a sphere, why didn't they just approach it from another angle? I don't think I could ever truly be one of those geeks because I just don't give a shit about that stuff. If the acting is bad, well then I'll complain, and if a scene is so unrealistic that I notice it without thinking much at all, I'll complain again, but please - to dig that deeply? To analyze every little thing? Too much work. I'm way too lazy for that.

On a side note, Cards won today. Woohoo!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Goodbye, old friend...

I'm gonna miss you, old buddy. We've had a lot of good times together. I've frozen my ass off with you, sweat all of the liquid out of my body, and everything in between. I've visited you with friends, family, and co-workers. I've been in the second row from the field, and all the way up top. I've been both sober and totally drunk (and many, many dollars poorer).

I love going to baseball games, and I'm pretty sure that every one I see from here on out will feel alien. I'll always think of old Busch when I think of baseball games. When we were girls, my dad would take my sister and I to the games (and mom, too, sometimes). We'd complain the entire time about being hot, but secretly loved going and eating the stadium dogs (somehow they always taste better over those nasty grills), and people watching. Next to shows, the stadium is prime people watching terrain. Just last week in fact, I saw the best rat tail ever. You gotta have fun when there's a rat tail around.

And how about all of those football games? In the closing ceremonies everyone seemed to have forgotten about those. Dad would take us to these, too. Lots of them. We'd bundle up in an ugly old flannel blanket, and drink hot cocoa out of our thermos. Thinking about my childhood will always include those games. I've been to the dome, and it isn't nearly as cool as old Busch.

I thought about how kids today will have no memory of the old Busch, and will never know what it was like to watch a pro football game outdoors (unless they leave the city). That dome is such crap. The sound is stifling, the air is stale. There's nothing like watching football in the cold. Now we have to go to Mizzou to do that.

Thankfully the new stadium will still be Busch Stadium, not Cinergy Field or Minute Maid Park. At least there's some history behind our corporate whore name.

I know you're old and rickety, and that it's your time to go, but that doesn't mean I won't miss the hell outta you. Everyone says that the minute I step into the new stadium I'll forget all about you. I might be impressed, but never will I forget.