Ernest Hemingway:

As Ernest Hemingway once said...
'All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.'

Monday, November 07, 2005

definitely R-rated

Q and I went to good ol' Columbia this weekend to visit our bestest friends, CB & V. I like going to visit them because they let us bring the hound, and also because their house is so darn cute. CB is quite the decorator. And both are dedicated readers of my blog...awww. We always have tons of fun when we get together. We drink a lot, get very loud, and totally obnoxious. But it's hilarious, as long as you are also drinking. Poor V couldn't partake this time, so he had to put up with us. It's probably a good thing we always stay in and drink. We'd probably drive everyone nuts, and then there's that whole drinking and driving thing. No need for that.

I happened to take some notes from the evening. Some of the things coming out of CB's mouth were just too tasty to pass up. The funny thing is that we weren't even that drunk. So, here are some snippets for everyone's entertainment. Warning: we aren't above being totally dirty and inappropriate, so these comments may not be suitable for the weak at heart or the youngsters. In fact, as a group, it's what we do best.

NJ: What the hell am I grabbing?
Q: A bum tickler. (it was actually a cat toy)

CB (to Q): I give you sucky-sucky.

NJ (on the topic of musk): Have you ever tasted White Castle musk?
CB: No, but I've tasted green bean musk.

NJ as drunk Whitney: I only eat Bobby Brown.
CB as drunk Oprah, laughing: That made me fart. (yes, Oprah farts too)

CB: When it's half a mile up your ass you've got to dig for that shit - it's like spelunking. (fortunately I can't remember the context of this statement and am trying to not concentrate on the obvious)

Some highlights:
*Q screamed like a little girl at one point (not unusual at all - he's got a freakishly high scream)
*CB gnawed on my feet
*We discussed why you can't delete a cell phone message until you've heard the entire thing. What is that all about? How difficult can it be to change that? It's the worst when someone purse-dials, and all you get is a five minute message of car noises.
*Q bought some vampire teeth gummies at Patricia's IGA (where, interestingly enough, they have legalized absinthe and 60$ vodka). Upon further inspection, when turned upside down, they looked much more like the female anatomy than teeth. As you can imagine, this induced a plethora of jokes and disgusting comments.

We also went to a newer restaurant (Columbia is full of good ones - Booche's, Murray's, Shakespeare's, Bankok Gardens) called Jazz, a cajun place. It was fantastic. We had crawfish (really good ones, for Missouri anyway), oysters, jambalaya, shrimp, po boys, and frozen rum runners. Yum.

Good times. V, after re-reading (and trying to decipher) my notes from the evening, I sincerely apologize. We must have annoyed the hell out of you. Thank goodness you love us. I highly recommend everyone take notes when drinking. It's very entertaining the next day, especially if you are like me, and are constantly amazed (and horrified) by what comes out of your mouth after a few drinks.

V, send me the link! You know what I'm talking about. I will hunt you down. And make CB do one too!

Wow. I just spell checked this entry, and it didn't recognize the word blog. Hmmm...

1 comment:

Dr. Todd Fuquad PhD said...

Holy fuckning shit! I'm stuck on this fucking page and I can't get out! It's not so bad. It's really kind of funny. Come to my school and earn a certificate in business, and then we'll talk about some really funny shit!

Dr. Todd Bridges President of the SKA School of Business