Ernest Hemingway:

As Ernest Hemingway once said...
'All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.'

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

the brown bunny

Over the holiday, we got 'The Brown Bunny' from Netflix. Q's only interested in this film because Chloe Sevigny gives Vincent Gallo a blow job. I mean full on. You see everything.

Unfortunately, this is the only interesting event in the entire movie, and Q had already downloaded this scene from the internet. If you haven't seen this movie, and want to, please don't read on.

This is hands down the worst movie I've ever seen. A reviewer on IMDB put it best:

'This film could have been called "Blow Job", been 5 minutes long, cost less, gathered a larger and more honest audience and made more money. I am a fan of Vincent Gallo's work but just wondered about this film and his reason behind writing the only scene the film will be remembered for. Many would write a scene like that and put themselves in the starring role if they thought they could get away with it, he has and it's quite funny if you really think about it. If you are curious about it, get the film and go straight to the scene where Chloe Sevigny appears. The rest just isn't worth watching, it's all about the blow job. Be honest with yourselves. '

When I say that the most action in the film is the blow job, I'm not kidding. And I'm not talking sex action, either. I'm talking any action whatsoever. 80 of the 90 minutes are of Vincent Gallo driving across the country.

I'm a huge movie fan, and will watch anything. Sure, there are movies I haven't loved, but I can honestly say I've never seen a movie I regretted watching. This is no exception. I just can't get over how dull it was. I honestly wondered if someone hadn't slipped something into my drink about halfway through. I wonder if being high might have made it better somehow. Someone should try that and let me know.

This movie is a lot like 'Elephant' by Gus Van Sant, the movie about high school kids that shoot up the school. I was so excited about the movie, and had heard it was a great social commentary. It sucked. It was so boring. There were numerous scenes of kids simply walking to and fro class. I guess I just don't get how that drives the plot whatsoever. In my opinion, they could have left out all of that crap and focused more on the social aspect of the film.

That's how I felt about 'The Brown Bunny'. It's obviously about a man grieving for a lost love. I get that. But please. 80 minutes of driving? How is that helpful at all? I just don't get it.

Here's a funny line from Vincent Gallo about bunnies: "When I see bunnies on the golf course, or in the backyard, I feel that's a safe place. I'm in love with those animals, even in a carnivorous way. They're my favorite meat." Wow. I love dogs, but wouldn't think twice about eating them. That's just wrong.

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