I was a good girl this past weekend and, amidst all of the wedding hoopla, went to my local library to pick up a voters guide provided by the League of Women Voters of Missouri. I found it before the last election, and it's great. It's nonpartisan, and gives all the necessary information on amendments and propositions, as well as invites all of the candidates to write a bit about their platform. Very cool.
After flipping through it, I realized I already know all there is to know about the issues, and don't have too many choices regarding who to vote for (either running unopposed or might as well be). There is one absolutely hilarious and simultaneously shocking entry, however - Theodis Brown, Sr., running as a Libertarian for St. Louis County Executive. I'll type it out below. It's a must-read.
Name: Theodis Brown, Sr.
Website: col brown googles
Candidate Statement: as incumbent st louis county central committee sgt at arms officer and st Ferdinand township committeeman of st louis county, and a retired state ofc and state investigator retiree who was candidate 2002 for state investigator assoc president, and past candidate for mosers as trustee statewide candidate 1998 as 1st black running from st louis district as black male state employee, who listed who who american law books ongoing from 80s90s, 2006 last edition as sole black paralegal st louis district in legal circles, as retired state employee relation committee sgt at arms from a state agency, a retired kinloch...
That's where it ends. I guess there's a word limit for the statement, and he exceeded it. Ha. I swear, this is exactly how it appears. Letter for lowercase letter.
Just when I was considering the Libertarian party to be a good match for me, this happens. It's times like this when disassociating myself from any party makes the most sense. I mean, come on. I understand people have trouble with grammar. It's okay. Our schools hardly prepare us to have a good working knowledge of the English language. But come on. Find someone who does. We're out there! How can he expect anyone to take him seriously?
Then again, Q says he's voting for him. Maybe it's a good way to get noticed. I don't know.
And by no means is he the only one with grammatical hangups. In fact, we're actually voting on whether to correct a grammatical error in the MO Constitution itself (Amendment 7). We'd be changing one thing - "citizen's" to "citizens' ". It's moving one tiny apostrophe, but essentially changing the meaning of the entire thing. Who messed that one up? Duh. People just can't seem to grasp those darn apostrophes.
Go and get your vote on!