Ernest Hemingway:

As Ernest Hemingway once said...
'All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.'

Monday, October 29, 2007

need an oil can for those creaky joints

I took my 'little brother' bowling yesterday. Remind me to never bowl again. I can't believe how bad my back hurt last night, not to mention today. And my wrist. Oh dear, I wonder if it'll ever be the same again. It's already all out of wack because I sit at the computer all day. Just put me on the fast track to carpal tunnel already. Can I really only be 30? Last night I felt more like 75.

The best part of the game was my decision to roll the ball through my legs on my very last frame of the day. I got a strike. How's that for luck? It just proves I have no skill at this sport whatsoever. My little brother wanted me to lose on purpose so he could win. He didn't get at all that it actually takes skill to lose at bowling when the bumpers are up. Really, anything goes. I tried to miss pins a couple of times and ended up getting spares. It doesn't work that way. I only beat him by marginal amounts anyway, and surely not because I was trying.

Bowling is messed up like that. I don't think anyone can say they were born good at it. I'd call myself a 'natural' athlete. I love sports, I love competing, and I've always been at least somewhat good at everything I tried. I suppose maybe if I practiced a little more I could be good at it, but see, that's where you lose me. I never liked practicing. Perhaps why I wasn't ever a great athlete. But I'm okay with that. I'll fully admit to my laziness any day.

Friday, October 26, 2007

the greatest soap

This stuff is awesome. I found it at a local store called the Home Eco in South City. Not only does it smell great, but it's totally vegan, and locally made by a St. Louis company called Herbaria.
I first tried their soaps when I bought a citronella & marigold soap for our annual trip to the cabin in AR hoping it would fend off some of the bugs. Fend off it did! I didn't use a drop of bug spray the entire time, and emerged bite-free, while the rest of our guests got eaten alive despite drenching themselves in that nasty commercial bug spray. I cannot stand that stuff - not only because it's pure chemical, but because it always ends up in my mouth no matter how much care I take to keep it away. Sick. It tastes awful.
You can go to the Home Eco, or there are tons of shops that sell the soaps in the area and even around the country. These are such a great treat every time I shower. They smell awesome, lather really well, and leave my skin so soft. Best of all, you're not rubbing chemicals and artificial ingredients into your skin every day, which is what you find in regular soaps/body washes. If that doesn't make you feel good, well, then you're some kind of weirdo.

Friday, October 19, 2007

my favorite baseball player of all time

Here he is. His name is Coco Crisp. That's right, Coco Crisp. Seriously, how cruel were his parents? I know Cocoa Crisp isn't a cereal, but it sure as heck could be. He should market the shit out of that. A good name like Coco Crisp can't go to waste, right?

I do know it's a darn good thing he's a professional athlete making tons of dough. Because can you imagine being Coco Crisp and going in to interview as an accountant? Or, mayhap, a teacher? People would remember you, that's for sure. That's if they can get past the hysterics they'll inevitably have whilst reading the resume.

I have to hand it to the sports talk folks and announcers for keeping it together when they mention this guy. Because all I have to do is hear it and chuckling ensues. I can be in the worst mood in the world, then turn on a Sox game (well I could do this if we had cable) and am guaranteed a laugh.

Thanks, Coco.

Friday, October 12, 2007

knew it!

There's lead in lipstick???? That's so wrong. I knew there had to be a good reason I don't wear lipstick other than general laziness.
The most disturbing part of the whole article:
According to the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, one-third of the tested lipsticks exceeded the FDA's limit for lead in candy - a standard established to protect children from directly ingesting lead.
Seriously? Lead in candy? What brainiac thought that was a good idea? Why would we possibly need lead in candy? I knew my absolute favorite candy - gummy bears (or worms, I'm not picky) was too good to be true. If there's lead in anything, I'm sure it's gummy bears. I don't know why. I'm sure it's God's way of punishing me.
Candy's been one of my last strongholds. I check ingredients on almost everything to make sure there isn't anything artificial, and avoid those things that harbor the foreign particles. But up until this point I've ignored candy, not wanting to look and see all kinds of nasties in my favorite treats.
But come on. I at a Reese's peanut butter cup today and the top was kind of watery. Have you ever noticed that with Reese's? There's always a thin film of wetness on top? What the hell is that? It can be ignored no more.
But oh, my beloved gummies. I just don't know that I can give you up. Especially the Haribo Happy Colas. Mmmmmmm, chewy goodness. Soda flavored candy. For a girl who loves both soda (thank goodness for Hansen's) and sugar, this is pure evil.
Maybe I will save you for special occasions.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

it's so true

So, it turns out that if one were to google 'KU sucks and swallows', my blog is the first thing to come up.

That totally made my day.

Monday, October 08, 2007

'twas a murder

Missouri beat Nebraska 41-6 on Saturday night. Ha! Silly Cornhuskers. This makes Missouri 5-0. What a great game.

I saw this today - hilarious:

Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up: Fireman, Truck Driver, Salesman, etc. but, Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer and takes off all his clothes at a bar. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with someone for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by his statement immediately changed the subject and hurriedly set the other children to work on a coloring project.

She then took Little Johnny aside and asked him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Johnny, "He's defensive coordinator at the University of Nebraska. I was just too embarrassed to say that."

Friday, October 05, 2007

theraflu is magic

There's nothing worse than being up all night with a horrible cold/cough/aches/ickyness. Thankfully Theraflu knocked me on my ass last night and I didn't even wake up one teeny time.

I was able to fall asleep despite each raspy breath drawn in through a raw throat threatening rebellion at each intake. I woke up with a clogged throat/chest waiting to unleash hellish, racking coughs. Which I fully expected. I just also expected to be horribly tired from lack of sleep due to above mentioned horribleness.

In this so sad day and age where the new, 'improved' NyQuil reigns no more (thanks to those snaggle-toothed meth addicts), it's nice to know Theraflu is out there waiting to put me out of my misery, if only for a night.