Ernest Hemingway:

As Ernest Hemingway once said...
'All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.'

Thursday, November 29, 2007

just can't help myself

Quick recap of Saturday's MU-KU game:


Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius

(Real men of genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Excuse Ridden Over-Confident Kansas Football Fan.

(Mr. Excuse Ridden Over-Confident Kansas Football Fan)

Eleven straight wins, you wore that classy "Muck Fizzou" shirt like you meant it

(Pinch me, I'm dreamin'!)

A season of bloated statistics and over-hyped wins against JuniorVarsity competition

(Serve another cupcake!)

Losing to a superior team with better players is no match for your what-if scenarios and could-have-been dreams

(The field goal missed by inches!)

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light you emphatic engineer of excuses. After all, you would've won the game if it was played somewhere else!

(Mr Excuse Ridden Over-Confident Kansas Football Fan.)

Bud Light. St. Louis, MISSOURI

Monday, November 26, 2007



What a game on Saturday night. I was confident the Tigers would win, but man, they totally dominated. The score didn't quite reflect the damage we inflicted on the Jayhawks. I believe that was the best game I've ever seen, by far. And the game next week promises to be just as good. But KU did give us a run for our money during the second quarter - I admit, I was waiting the whole time for Mizzou to crumble. I suppose it's just instinct after all of those seasons when they did manage to fall apart.

We've got some unfinished business against Oklahoma, and this time it'll be on neutral territory, not at Norman. And we'll be riding high off of the KU win. Man, I'm excited to watch it now, and it's only Monday morning.

I'm excited even though I just overheard the bigwigs here talking about chartering a flight to San Antonio for the game this weekend. Must be nice, right? They all went to the game on Saturday and sat in some special box on the field. Stupid rich people and their stupid ability to do anything they want. Makes me want to puke! I definitely do not have any tolerance for that on a Monday morning. And I suppose I'll get to hear about it all week. Yay me.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

eating poop

Have you heard of 'two girls, one cup'? If not, it's probably for the best. Whatever you do, don't go out on the internets looking for it. I kid you not. I refused to watch, but curiosity got the better of my hub-unit, and he gagged for the rest of the night whenever he thought about it. This after only watching the first five seconds from across the room. In fact, I was in the shower, and after making horrible noises in the other room (that I could hear above the shower, mind you) he rushed in and stood by the toilet for a good five minutes just in case.

What you should do instead is check out that's not Apparently there has been a rash of people taping others watching the video for the first time. They're hilarious. Much funnier, apparently, than watching the actual video, though as I mentioned earlier, I wouldn't know. I'd heard rumors about what it contained, and after hearing one of the girls in the youtube video actually describe what was happening, that was enough.

That's why the internets is so great. Two girls can make a video of themselves doing despicable and completely wrong things, and it becomes the next big thing that everyone's talking about. Eating poop can make you a 'celebrity'. I suppose fame is worth it at any price, huh? What a world.

Friday, November 16, 2007

oh, the possibilities...

This is a big weekend for college football fans, especially for Tiger (5th in the nation) fans. The weekend could play out a few different ways.
  1. Missouri and Kansas U lose. That would suck (the Missouri part, anyway), but hey, we'll be back bigger and stronger than last year, right? We'd have to put our Big 12 faith in Oklahoma's hands.
  2. Missouri loses, Kansas wins. That would suck horribly. But then we'd come back next weekend and kick their asses.
  3. Missouri wins, Kansas loses. That would be frikkin' awesome. Too incredible for words.
  4. Missouri wins, Kansas wins. That would be okay too. Cause we'll just kill them next weekend.

But there are a few more possibilities:

  1. LSU loses. They've done it once already this year. Could happen again.
  2. Oklahoma loses. They've also done it once already this year.

Because Oregon State bit it last night against Arizona, this would leave the top spots up for grabs. It's a possibility, as pointed out by my hub-unit, that Missouri and Kansas U could be 1 & 2 in the nation. Holy crap. That would be something. Then, numbers 1 & 2 would play each other in a regular season game. Unbelievable. And I passed on a ticket to attend this game way back when they went on sale and no one had any idea this could be so huge, thereby allowing my bro-in-law to go instead. Crap. I'm such an idiot!

Of course, chances of this happening are small, but they do exist. That's what's so great about football. Anything can happen.

Quoth the Tiger...Nevermore!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

going back home

I spent this past weekend at my parents' house taking care of their dog while they were out of town. The dog can't go to a kennel for reasons I won't go into (it's another whole post in itself), but she's a sweet dog, albeit a bit crazy.

My parents still live in the house where I grew up, and by that I mean spent every year of my life there until the age of 18. I've been gone now for 12 years (with a minor setback), yet when I'm there, it's as if I never left. There are so many memories. I had my first kiss on the front porch, flipped over the handlebars of my bike and broke my thumb in the back yard, laid in bed with Mom and watched TV at night and gossiped about boys and friends, had friends spend the night on the sofa bed in the basement, admired my older sisters when they still lived in the basement, set up massive little people worlds with my younger sister and played countless games of make believe, kicked her ass in Mario Cart on the Super Nintendo, laughed hysterically with my Mom when the ump said 'FOUL BALL' while playing baseball on the Atari, practised catching and hitting balls with my Dad (and coach) in the backyard, waited for Dad to get home every night with my younger sister, punched a hole in the wall of the staircase, cried many tears and shared many hugs. I could go on and on. I was a very lucky girl - I had a great childhood.

I took the dog for a walk around the loop behind my parents' house, the loop that circles the neighborhood pool (a place I went to every day, every summer as a kid, and caused my share of trouble). I passed by so many homes with even more memories. As kids, we ran wild all hours of the day, and even into the evening. We knew all the kids in the neighborhood. A kid could be a huge nerd at school, but during the summers, we were all equals. Summers for me were magical like that. I had my school friends, and separately, my summer friends (though there were a few overlaps).

Anyway, on my walk, it occurred to me how few of those houses had any connection to me now, yet I knew them intimately. I'd been in every single room, yet strangers were there now, or people who wouldn't probably recognize me at all after so many years.

I started typing out a list of my memories of the houses and the people who live(d) there, but really, you don't care about that. It's enough for me to think again about all of those memories. To wonder what happened to some of my best friends at the time, what became of their families. Some I know about, some will be lost forever.

It's enough to think about those kids and that I'll probably never have closer friends. They knew everything about me, saw me at my best, and at my worst. We learned valuable life lessons together, and shared so many 'firsts'.

It's impossible to be in my old neighborhood and not remember the time we passed out in the pool parking lot and went to swim practice afterwards after sneaking out of one of the girls' houses, driving around with the cute lifeguard in his Honda CRX, getting a ride to school with Dinky (one of the nerdy boys) when my parents grounded me from the car my junior year and forced me to ride the bus (the horror!), hoofing every square inch of the neighborhood on Halloween and getting a pillowcase full of candy, playing flashlight tag in the gloaming hour of warm, summer evenings full of fireflies, winning first place in the final freestyle race of summer swim league and eating so much lik-m-aid it made us sick, launching water balloons from the deck of a boy who'd survived leukemia onto the unsuspecting pool patrons nearby - really, the list is endless. I could go on forever.

I was really struck though by the house of a family I'd known because one of their sons was best friends with the little brother of my best friend. Their house is visible from my parents' backyard. The entire family died of carbon dioxide poisoning. I was living in Texas when it happened, and hadn't ever really gotten the chance to look at that house and really think about it. I saw a car sitting in the driveway. Do the current owners know what happened? Does it, or did it, disturb them? How depressing. He was a good boy, a smart boy. And he and my friend's little brother used to chant 'duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, cha-cha-cha-cha-chicken' at us all the time. I don't know why. They were odd kids. It's surreal, having such a strong memory of the boys at that age, chanting that irritating ditty, yet one of them is dead.

Kind of like my childhood memories. They're so vivid, some of them anyway, yet they're as good as dead. I can't have them back. I'll never be that naive, innocent child again. I miss those days, but am now starting to appreciate the person I've become. I guess I'm beginning to just now understand that it's time to be an adult, and moreover, like being an adult. Perhaps this is why I was able to really take in all of those memories, to separate myself from them.

Or maybe the dog woke me up at 7 for a walk and in my near-sleepwalking state everything seemed surreal. Whatever.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

free the WM3! - maybe soon!

Look at this story - I found it on the front page of CNN. I found it by accident, drawn in by the 'cub scout killers'. That's the first time I've heard of the West Memphis 3 being called the 'cub scout killers', but whatever gets them onto the front page of CNN is fine with me.

The news has been out for a while now, but is only garnering national attention recently. Some DNA evidence has been released, and it doesn't match any of the 3 in jail. It does however closely match the father of one of the three murdered boys, Terry Hobbs. I am in no way, shape, or form indicting him in these horrific crimes, as this is what was done to the 3 so long ago. Interesting, though, how things have turned out.

I'm just eagerly anticipating what will come of a writ filed on behalf of Damian Echols, who currently sits on death row. I'm hoping, of course, for exoneration, but will settle for a new trial. After fighting for this cause for so many years, it's so exciting to see it sprouting up all over the place. It's amazing to hear that so many people have visited the website in the last few days that the servers crashed.

I feel they'll be set free, but I hope the state of Arkansas will compensate them somehow for the 10+ years they spent in prison as innocent men. Of course all they want is their freedom. But can you imagine? It unfortunately happens all too often.

I can't wait for the day I can cover my 'free the 3' bumper stickers with stickers saying 'freed!'.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

audio science clayton

I learned today (from my fav time-wasting site, Go Fug Yourself) that a celebrity named Shannyn Sossamon named her child Audio Science. Well, I learned of Shannyn Sossamon today too, but she's not nearly as entertaining as her child's name. Audio? Science? Audio Science?

How? And better yet, Why?

I get wanting to give your child a unique name. I share my ubiquitous first name with millions of people. But I'd rather have my name any day over the likes of:

Moxie CrimeFighter
Tu Morrow
Pilot Inspektor
Reven Niaga (Never Again backwards - straight from BelleMO)

You get the point. Apparently these celebrities (and hicks) were totally cool kids and never got picked on. Giving your kid a name like that is an open invitation to get their asses kicked. And seriously, it all ties back to my earlier post on Coco Crisp (hee hee) - assuming these children grow up to be normal adults (it's a long shot, but play along), how can they go out into the real world and look for a job? Can you imagine investing money with Pilot Inspektor? Or purchasing a home with the help of Apple? Or how about Tu Morrow teaching your kids?

This further reinforces my opinion that people should have to earn the right to have children.

Friday, November 02, 2007


Hmmm, this makes it easy to understand why many Americans eat the way they do. I really thought about how salads do cost more than Big Macs (and many, many other things) after reading this article - it's just not right.

What's really not right is being able to buy a burger for $1 (McDonald's value menu) - why on earth would anyone think that's a good deal? You get what you pay for. A $1 burger. So disgusting.

Thursday, November 01, 2007


We had tons of kids come by for candy last night. The weather was amazing, and it stayed light an hour longer than last year. We spent nearly $30 on candy, and got rid of it all (mostly - I had to save some for myself). One of the highlights of the evening was truly appreciating the fact that we live in a neighborhood where the local bar (a block away from our house) was the hit of the night, where a crowd of parents and kids was present at all times. Yes, our local bar participates in handing out Halloween candy. That's awesome.

Some of the best jokes:

Where do pirates go for dinner?

Where does the lady with one leg go for breakfast?
IHOP (as told by Katie?)

followed by:
Who eats at IHOP?
Katie! (as told by the girl's much younger sister)

What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?
A Roman Catholic (our favorite 'coherent' joke)

Who has a dog with pizza on its head?
Me! (our favorite 'non-coherent' joke)

Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say poop?

The poop was the best joke overall, mostly because jokes that end with poop are always funny even if they make no sense. However, watching the girl tell the nun joke to the ex-nun who lives next door was pretty hilarious. All in all a good halloweenie.